The End Of Civilization As We Know It

Beautiful women are supposed to act “beautiful” (or beautifully, to be grammatically correct). I'm not sure what that means, but I do know that we are not to belch, fart, sing out of tune, discuss politics or religion, say anything smarter than the smartest man in the room, and only hiccup in tiny, polite “pops!” Whatever would society do if a beautiful woman showed her intelligence? Why it would throw off the entire balance of the world, with all society in an uproar and no one knowing how to react, just as when the little boy shouted “The King is naked!" in the fairytale.

Could the end of the world, predicted precisely by Mayan astrologers for December 21, 2012 be connected to this idea? In my feminist heart I wish that could be the day when the balance of power shifts back towards matriarchy, to finally find its middle ground after millennia of patriarchy. Perhaps on that day, finally, enough women on the planet will stand and speak their minds – regardless of their appearance or social status – and face their fears of losing respectability and male attention. We could all fart out loud at the same time! “Belch if you're beautiful!” could be our rallying cry.

The end of the world in less than two months has some folks twisted in knots. For me it is becoming obvious that this planetary destruction is metaphoric, not actual. On the Solstice a veil shall be rent, leaving us transfixed upon a great shift of consciousness; no longer will anyone be able to use denial as a coping mechanism. Wouldn't it be something if this truly was a movement of the power pendulum back to center, a day when the words male, chauvinist, and pig are no longer uttered in the same sentence?

Some scientists predict that on this fateful December day the poles of the Earth will shift, rocking the planet off its axis, yielding death and destruction for as much is 75% of living beings. Talk about a biblical flood! If God wants to wipe out humanity and begin anew, switching the poles is a great way to do it. Magnetic North becoming South is a perfect analogy for what needs to happen in the world. IMHO most of us need to be picked up by the ankles (like a newborn) and our behinds whacked until we wake up our minds and breathe in a new air. In fact, we might be able to see the world in an entirely new perspective if hung upside-down long enough.

Dr. Phil says that "Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place." If that's true (and I believe it is) by shifting Magnetic North men will no longer have their places, and women will need to find new reasons. Might just be what the doctor ordered for a mighty shift of consciousness, no? For as we all know everything, always, boils down to sex.

That is, as long as beautiful women don't fart.